This also explains why the seventh blessing expresses impatience with the present and seeks to hurry its envisioned end, “…Let there soon be heard in the cities of Judah…the voice of the groom and the voice of the bride…”
Now, in our fallen and exiled state, the woman only has what she receives from her husband , “she has absolutely nothing that is intrinsically her own.”[45] She is completely dependent on him. This model of gender relations plays itself out on other planes as well.
Every level of reality displays gender. There is always a giver and a receiver, a masculine and a feminine. It is certainly possible (if not probable) that within a given “couple” these roles would switch from situation to situation. For example in certain contexts, one of the pair assumes the role of active bestower while in another context he becomes the more passive receiver and vice verse. Nevertheless, in every field of focus gender exists. Consequently, if one examines the subject of “divine service,” Torah study is considered a masculine expression and prayer, a feminine one. There are many reasons for these associations.
Among the variety of prayer forms found in Judaism (praise, request, thanksgiving, affirmation, the Shema, etc.) the most complete and essential expression of prayer is the Shemonah Essrei, which means literally, the Prayer of Eighteen Blessings (though it actually has nineteen, for one was added at a later period in history). This prayer is the heart of each worship service. All other liturgy is either building up to or winding down from it. When the word prayer appears unqualified in Jewish writing it refers to the Shemona Essrey (also called the Amida, or standing prayer).
Halacha derives many of the laws regarding its recitation from Chana, the mother of Samuel whose prayer for child appears in the first book of Shmuel.[46] The most distinctive rule is that it must only be whispered. Nearly all other liturgical expressions are pronounced with full voice. Conversely the Shemona Essrei is enunciated just loud enough for one’s own ears to hear, no more.
Since prayer is a feminine mode of worship, and the essential expression of prayer is the Shemona Essrei, the whispered prayer, then its thrice-daily recitation symbolically reenacts the bride’s absence of voice at this point in history.
Speech is a human being’s primary tool for projecting him or her self out into the world. The hidden content of one’s thoughts becomes heard by another, and even more, once spoken, they influence the subsequent actions of those that heard them. Since speech is an outward projecting extension of influence it is a masculine mode of expression, while the more receptive, listening role is feminine. One who has no “voice”, whether literally or metaphorically, lacks the normal channels of exerting power and influence over their environment, and must resort to nonverbal methods, which often include violence or passive aggressive protest.
King David describes this voiceless state by the verse, “I was struck mute with silence.” Kaballa identifies this phrase from Psalms with a profoundly regressed developmental state that it calls katnut[47] (literally, smallness), conveying the idea of narrow-minded and constricted consciousness.
A primary feature of katnut is the inability to express oneself in words. A chasm exists between awareness and speech due to one’s inadequate capacity of articulation (whether chronic or momentary). Ones depth or intensity of thought cannot be conveyed through the insufficiently developed instrument of speech. Instead one retreats into frustrated silence.
And so the Shemona Essrei begins with the words, “HaShem open my mouth that my lips may declare your praise.” HaShem, if You want my prayers, if You want a dialogue of communion then You must assist the process. You must help me speak. On my own I lack the skill. I have regressed to such a point that I have lost my voice and capacity for self-expression, along with many other powers that associate with maturity and expanded consciousness. I cannot even stand upright. I am a puddle. All of my upper nine sefirot (representing my higher levels of awareness) have collapsed into the lowest one (malchut), and I am reduced to a single point occupying the lowest level of the emanated world.
