To understand the reason behind this shifting of the polarity of joy’s flow, that now it passes from groom to bride yet soon it will emanate from bride to groom, one must first understand the difference between betrothal and marriage as sequential stages of connubial commitment. Besides their literal application in every wedding ceremony, they also mark the path of Israel’s evolving relationship with G‑d and Torah.
Betrothal and marriage are precisely defined terms in Jewish law. Betrothal is a legally binding commitment to marry. Though the couple is not permitted to relate sexually, in most other respects they are as if legally married and the dissolution of their engagement requires a divorce. The second level of marital commitment occurs when the bride formally enters her husband’s home. The wedding canopy symbolizes their coming together under one-roof and so effects this change of status. The marriage is finalized by its physical consummation.
Several Midrashim employ the metaphor of engagement and marriage to describe Israel’s evolving relationship with HaShem through history:
“Moshe commanded us the Torah, a morasha (inheritance) to the congregation of Jacob.”[10] The Gemara derives a homiletical teaching based on the similarity between two words, one of which appears in this verse. Don’t read morasha (inheritance), rather substitute a different but similar sounding word, me’orasah (act of betrothal). With this substitution the verse now reads, “Moshe commanded us the Torah as an engagement token to the congregation of Jacob.”[11]
Two teachings emerge from this Gemara.
- The relationship between Israel and HaShem parallels the relationship between groom and bride.
- The Torah’s revelation at Sinai bound Israel to HaShem through the first stage of matrimonial coupling, called betrothal (airusin).
And similarly another midrash teaches:[12]
“Go forth, O you daughters of Zion and gaze upon King Solomon, even upon the crown wherewith his mother crowned him on the day of his espousals…”[13] The midrash reads this verse as metaphorically referring to the union of HaShem with the Jewish people and identifies the Torah’s revelation at Sinai as the historic event corresponding to “the day of His espousals.” It further proves that this dramatic encounter effected betrothal (and not revelation: “And you shall sanctify yourselves today and the day following.”[14] Since the word here for sanctify (kidashtem / קידשתם) shares the same root as the word for engagement (kidushin / קידושין) this proves that the Sinaic bond was betrothal and not marriage.
The final consummation of Israel’s relationship with HaShem as marital union will only happen in the future, when the messianic redeemer comes to lead the world through its final stages of transformation. Then will Isaiah’s prophesy be fulfilled, “Your husband is your maker.”[15] The term for husband in this verse emphasizes the physically consummated union of man and wife.
Rambam depicts this joyful era of redemption with the following words:
In that time there will be neither famine nor war, envy or competition. Good will flow in abundance and all delights will be [as common] as dust. The occupation of the entire world will be solely to know G‑d. Therefore the Jews will be great sages and know hidden matters, attaining knowledge of their Creator to [the full extent] of human potential as Isaiah states, “The world will be filled with the knowledge of G‑d as the sea fills the ocean bed.”[16]
In addition to these more familiar features of that yearned-for time, Kaballa adds another blessing to the list. The messianic era will bring a profound transformation of gender relations which it explicitly depicts as an equalizing of stature between man and woman, groom and bride. This is the subject of Rabbi Shneur Zalman’s essay, The Voice of the Bride, translated here.
During this interim period until the messianic time, Israel’s spousal relationship with HaShem is daily ripening. Yet, since it remains unconsummated, the term that most accurately describes their level of intimacy is betrothal, a preparatory period wherein the couple readies for wedlock.
