This is the basis for the Gemara’s comment: “Don’t read morasha, inheritance, rather read me’urasa, fiancee,” thereby implying that the Torah’s revelation was an engagement ceremony between HaShem and the Jewish people, the transcendent lights serving as the circular ring effecting betrothal.
Marriage, on the other hand, is a deeper state of union. The flow of bounty and revelation passes from bestower to receiver completely. There is nothing of the revealer that cannot be seen, held and contained by the perceiver. Their union is consummate and parallels the physical relationship between husband and wife.
There are thirty-nine categories of prohibited work on Shabbat, each of which constitutes a particular type of creative labor. One of these categories is called building, and included within it is the prohibition of opening containers. While the container is factory sealed (for example the can of tuna or bag of sugar) it is not actually functioning as a vessel since its contents are not available to the outside world. Halacha defines vessel as a container with an opening that allows access to the product within. Consequently when a person opens a can of tuna they are effectively creating a vessel in that moment. Until they removed the bonded metal top, the tin was a partially constructed vessel-in-potential. By cutting away the top its contents become accessible to human usage, and it enters the category of vessel proper. It is thus true to say that the “opener” of the vessel, is its “maker.”
Similarly the first time a woman has physical relations, she becomes a “vessel” in the fullest sense of the word. And, “as below so above” her capacity to “receive” on every level of soul is similarly awakened. Her contours of spiritual receptivity are molded into shape by that encounter. A metaphor that describes this idea is an embossing stamp. The metal has a design engraved in boss relief, and when pressed against the paper or wax it creates a negative image that perfectly matches the original design. The outward projecting metal die actually carves out a custom “vessel” of perfectly suited proportions to hold its unique image.
Similarly, an inner covenental bond of spirit forms between a woman and her husband in their first relations. A man who lacks the strength of soul to impact his bride in this way will not succeed in forming the bond that defines marriage on all its inner levels, and their union will likely not succeed. This is what the sages mean when they say, “A woman does not bind herself in a covenant of marriage except with one that can make her a vessel.” [25]
And so its says regarding the end of days, when Israel and HaShem finally consummate their union, “Your husband is your maker.”[26] Your husband (i.e. the one whose revelation of light and beauty has entered into your soul and carved out a space that can hold the full content of that revelation), He is your maker (i.e. you have become your full self by this experience. Now you can fulfill your highest function. The pleasure of consummation is the pleasure of becoming who you really are. It is as if you were “made” in that moment, while before you were a “partially constructed vessel-in-potential.”) “Your husband is [truly] your maker.”
In marriage proper, the inner lights are no longer displaced to a surrounding position, rather they return to their centers, which have now merged into a common core.[27]
Similarly in the future, the full radiance of the Infinite Light will shine through the Torah, its soul no longer hidden by the coarse materiality of ink on parchment that cloaks it now. Every wisdom, insight, and mystical reverie will radiate forth for all to see.
Consequently the sages equate “the day of his espousals” to the giving of the Torah at Sinai for there began the engagement bond between HaShem and Israel. They vowed to wait for each other until the end of days when their time would be ripe for wedlock. The entire verse reads, “Go forth, O you daughters of Zion and gaze upon King Solomon, even upon the crown wherewith his mother crowned him on the day of his espousals and on the day of his gladness of heart.” The phrase, “…day of his gladness of heart” refers to the future when the marriage between HaShem and Israel will finally be consummated. The fullness of Divine light will shine through the Torah and be received by Israel, filling their collective heart, bones, cells and spaces with Holy Presence. There will be no place inside them that is not permeated with G‑d and nothing of G‑d that does not fit inside them. A perfect marriage, a consummate union of glory and awe.
