Addiction and Higher Teshuvah
Yomim Noraim, 2023/5784
A Rosh HaShana Teaching Inspired by the Igeret HaTeshuvah of R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi (excerpted below)

You might be surprised to hear that addiction is as old as humanity itself…literally.

The midrash picks up subtleties that are invisible to most readers. In the Genesis story it notes a glaring Freudian slip with grave significance. After Adam and Chava’s eating from the forbidden tree, the following conversation ensues between Adam and HaShem:

And the HaShem called to Adam, and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” And [HaShem] said, Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree, from which I commanded you not to eat?” And the man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” [Gen 3:9-12]

But, in fact, this translation is not precise. It alters things ever so slightly to force the sentence to conform to its expectations of what would have been an appropriate response.  Focusing on the last few words of the passage where Adam states his excuse for eating, the translation reads, “she gave me of the tree and I ate.” But, in fact, the verb, “I ate,” as it appears in the Torah itself, does not employ the past tense. Adam does not say, ”I ate”, but rather “I eat” (in the present tense). The midrash elaborates upon the significance of this surprising response.

Abba bar Kahana notes, “The verse does not read, “I ate,” but rather “I eat” [as if to say] “I ate and I will continue to eat.” [BR 19:12]

Whether Adam intended to speak in present tense or it just slipped out, either way its upshot is the same: Adam conveyed that something had changed inside and there was no going back. Abstinence was no longer an option despite his desire to please G-d and obey His commands. Adam conveyed that he was effectively addicted to that forbidden fruit. And since Adam and Chava contained the souls of all humanity within themselves … in that moment, humanity’s struggle with addiction began.

The obvious question is, what about teshuva? Isn’t that stronger than addiction? As the Zohar declares:

תשובה שוברת כמה גזרות ודינים וכמה שלשלאות ברזל, ואין מה שעומד לפני התשובה. [זהר ב’ ק”ו א’]

Teshuva annuls all decrees and judgements, and breaks many an iron chain, and there is nothing that can stand against it. [Zohar 2:106a]

And yet, further on, the Zohar qualifies this assertion and admits that teshuva is (seemingly) not effective for pagam habrit (for damaging the covenant) which is generally associated with sexual indiscretions. In that interpretation the brit in question is brit mila (circumcision). But actually, brit means covenant in the most generic sense of the word. For example the Sinaic tablets engraved with the ten commandments, are called Shnei Luchot HaBrit (the Two Tablets of Covenent).  And it is certainly true that any addiction (sexual or otherwise) is a breach of that Sinaic covenent where we accepted our mission as emissaries of ethical monotheism, loyal servants of the Holy One. Na’asei v’’nishma, we will do and we will continue to learn how to improve our doing.

The term for addiction in Hebrew is התמכרות (hitmakrut), which means, literally, selling yourself, selling your soul. You have submitted your will to another master whose demands override the commands of the Holy One. You have betrayed your Sinaic covenant by adopting another authority whose dictates (at least in this area) trump those of the King of kings.

And yet, still, the Zohar does make the statement that nothing can stand in the face of teshuva (2:106a/b), even though, in another place it seems to qualify that assertion. (1:219b) The Reshit Chokhma resolves the contradiction: There is lower teshuva and higher teshuva …Teshuva (תשובה), teaches the Zohar (2:122a), means literally תשוב ה’ (redeeming the ה’) and since there are two hei’s in HaShem’s four-letter name there are two levels of teshuva. Lower teshuva is (apparently) not sufficient to release a person from the compulsive allure of pagam habrit, which we are translating here as addiction of all sorts, from mild to life-threatening.  But, says Reshit Chochma, higher teshuva can uproot these deeply entrenched and dysfunctional habits.

Lower teshuva is more practical and behavioral: Vidui, Charata, Kabbalat HaAtid—confession, remorse, renunciation—I did this, I regret it, and I commit to not doing so again. Lower teshuva redeems the final hei of HaShem’s four-letter name that represents the world of action. It’s method is behavioral and, according to Tanya, its goal is twofold: 1) to awaken HaShem’s mercy upon our Divine soul (Nefesh Elokit) that is debased by our transgressions and, 2) to remove the stench of pride that is the residue of sin by awakening, in the vital soul (Nefesh Chiyunit), a deep humility that washes away its arrogance.

With this as its prerequisite higher teshuva (aka teshuva shelayma or complete teshuva) redeems the first (or higher) hei of HaShem’s four-letter name—that represents the higher intuitive plane of consciousness associated with the sefira of binah (discernment and heartfelt understanding).

Higher teshuva is holistic. It builds upon a rigorous completion of lower teshuva, which makes its starting point already quite evolved. Higher teshuva’s first step, then, is to enter a רוחא ברוחא (breath-to-breath) devekut with the holy One. This loving state of inner quiet is achieved through meditation (defined as a continuous flow of thought on a particular object or point of focus). Toward this end, RaShaZ (R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi, aka Baal HaTanya) suggests that we affix our attention on the presence and greatness of G-d, but you are free to use another focus that, perhaps, works better for you. [For meditation instruction see the authors illustrated video teachings available for free at Meditation Video Series – A Still Small Voice.]

In meditation one’s breath slows and deepens. That is the sign that one has entered a meditative state. Yet higher teshuva requires that we engage the faculty of Binah (heartfelt awareness) as well. Binah adds an emotional component to the experience—an awakening of conscious love and awe toward God, Torah and Kenesset Yisrael. And then, in that state of heightened awareness, says Rashaz, higher teshuva happens as one studies Torah, prays, or performs charitable deeds. The soul is touched and cleansed by these endeavors.

The challenge is to hold the meditative arousal while engaging in these activities and still appear perfectly normal to the world. In so doing, one becomes an unselfconscious channel of Divine presence and enters the state called the union of kisses, breath-to-breath. That state of inner quiet (as indicated by slowed breath) and God-awareness (that comes from mitzvah performance) is called a yichud (a unification of earth and heaven, immanence and transcendence, Shekhina and Holy One.

Higher teshuva is not focused on misdeeds. Instead its devekut of breath-to-breath connects the soul to its pure root even before HaShem breathed it into Adam. The lights accessed in this meditation are deeper than the scorings into the nerve net produced by the addiction. It doesn’t happen in an instant but gradually, over time, the soul sheds its fixation with the object of its addiction. The sweetness of the Infinite Light evoked by this practice refines one’s pleasure buds and aligns one’s desire nature.

It should be a good, sweet, healthy, joyful, light-filled, love-filled, peaceful, conflict-mending, prosperous, creatively-satisfying, addiction-dissolving, goodwill generating, growth-through-joy, and fruitful new year.

שנה טובה ומתוקה